


Hello! My Name Is Bart Simpson. You Killed My Sister. Prepare To Die.

by HMSquared



Category: The Simpsons
Genre: Anger, Angst, Beating, Blood and Violence, Bullying, Crying, Episode Tag, Episode: s20e19 Waverly Hills 9-0-2-1-D'oh, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Murder, Protective Siblings, Revenge, Shotgun, The Princess Bride References
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-05
Updated: 2020-10-05
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:01:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26845546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HMSquared/pseuds/HMSquared
Summary: Bart is at Ralphie’s party when he hears screaming from across the street. 20.19
Relationships: Bart Simpson & Lisa Simpson, Bart Simpson & Maggie Simpson
Comments: 4
Kudos: 9





	Hello! My Name Is Bart Simpson. You Killed My Sister. Prepare To Die.

Bart found himself at Barney’s Bowlarama, utterly bored. It was Ralph’s birthday, which Chief Wiggum had conned him into attending.

“Woo hoo!” Ralph shouted as six pins fell down. Chief Wiggum clapped enthusiastically. Bart didn’t even pretend to care and rolled his eyes.

“How much more of this?” he muttered under his breath. “This hat’s cutting off my circulation.” The green and red party hat was still strapped to Bart’s head.

As the next person rolled a strike, he heard a noise. Well, a noise aside from the crashing of bowling pins. It sounded like...screaming.

“Help!” Someone outside was in danger. Bart glanced up at the back window. And that’s when he saw it.

Lisa’s backpack was lying on the sidewalk, abandoned. He blanched. Bart’s goody-two-shoes sister would never leave her backpack behind.

Leaping off of the plastic bench, he ripped his party hat off. When Chief Wiggum turned around Bart was gone, the bowling alley door still swinging.

He ran over to the backpack and picked it up. There was Lisa’s name, stitched on the inside by Marge’s hand. Bart shook his head. Where the hell was his sister?

There was a thump and another scream. It seemed to be coming from around the corner, further down the alley. Drawing his slingshot, Bart followed the noise.

“Lisa?” He was quiet, barely above a whisper. A third scream. Bart spun around the corner, the road disappearing behind him. He was met with a terrible sight.

The Kaitlins were standing over Lisa, pounding her face into the concrete. Bart could barely make out his sister in the crowd; all he saw was a puddle of blood. Something in him flared.

“HEY!” The Kaitlins stopped and looked up. Bart fired a rock, grazing Caitlin’s cheek. She squealed and stumbled backward, clutching her face.

“Who are you?” Katelyn snarled. Bart reloaded the slingshot and pulled back, but didn’t fire.

“Get...the hell...away from her.” When they didn’t move, he shouted, “NOW!” and the Kaitlins scurried away.

Now for the worst part.

Lisa’s nose and mouth were streaked with blood. Her eyes were barely open. Bart kneeled and squeezed his sister’s shoulder.

“Lisa?” Her eyelids fluttered but didn’t open. A tiny groaning noise escaped her.

“Bart?”

“Geez, Lisa, what the hell happened to you?”

“They...found out I don’t know Alaska Nebraska. Not personally, at least.” Bart blanched.

“This is my fault.” Lisa tried to shake her head, but he stopped her.

“No… No, Bart. You were trying to make me popular.” Tears began to flow down her cheeks. “I don’t want to die.”

“You won’t.” Bart pulled Lisa closer to him. They both knew the hospital was too far away. “You’re going to be fine.”

“Bart…” She was fading fast. Shaking his head, Bart burst into tears.

“I’m going to get them, you hear me? I’m going to make them pay for what they did.”

“I know…” Reaching up, Lisa squeezed his hand. Bart returned it, shaking. “I...love...you…” Her body began to go slack. After a moment or two, her chest stopped moving.

Bart’s eyes widened in shock. He pulled Lisa even closer and kissed her forehead. Tears rolled down his cheeks, splattering on her skin. He was shaking like a leaf.

He returned home empty handed: Lisa’s body and backpack were still in the alley. Bart threw the door open, letting it slam behind him.

“Bart?” Marge came out of the kitchen, dressed in her apron and oven mitts. He ignored her, stomping upstairs. “Bart, try not to wake Maggie!”

Maggie was indeed asleep. She didn’t wake up until Bart approached. In her presence, he finally allowed himself to shake. In her presence, he finally allowed himself a chance to break down.

“She’s dead, Maggie…” Bart hiccuped, watching his remaining sister as she sat up. “She’s dead…” For a moment, Maggie didn’t respond. Then she reached under her crib and pulled out a shotgun. As her brother’s expression turned to one of shock, she cocked it and rose an eyebrow.

_ Where? _

The Kaitlins were having a sleepover at Caitlin’s. Bart and Maggie walked there, the latter dragging a duffel bag behind her. The Simpson siblings didn’t look at each other or say a word.

Unsurprisingly, the address lead to a mansion. Bart started for the door and Maggie grabbed his arm. Shaking her head, she pointed around the corner.

“Right.” Bart crept around the side, his baby sister close behind. Sure enough, there were handholds and a window to Caitlin’s room.

They silently climbed up the side of the house. Music was fluttering in from the cracked window. The Kaitlins were listening to Alaska Nebraska.

“Ready?” The youngest Simpson nodded. Bart stopped to let her pass and unzipped the duffel bag. Pressing her feet against the window and using her brother for a hand-hold, Maggie cocked the shotgun.

The Kaitlins looked up at the sound. Caitlin’s eyes widened in horror. Before she could scream, Maggie fired.

The shot missed Caitlin by an inch and shattered the lamp behind her. Maggie kicked the window open and soared in. From behind her, Bart growled,

“You’re lucky I told her not to kill you.” The Kaitlins cowered in a corner of the room. Caitlin looked at them between her fingers.

“What’s this about? Why do you care about a weasel like Lisa?” Right, they didn’t actually know his name. As Maggie kept her shotgun trained on the Kaitlins, Bart stepped forward.

“Hello! My name is Bart Simpson. You killed my sister. Prepare to die.”

Three more gunshots rang out, shattering the Kaitlins’ kneecaps. Then Bart aimed his slingshot and fired rocks into their skulls.

**Author's Note:**

> Almost rated this M, tell me if I should change it.


End file.
